5 iun. 2012

Foreign...Love


I always believed the little things make our life better. When everything seems to come out of the ordinary and just makes your day. And you might even believe that most of the people don’t have this chance in their lives and that they keep crawling in the same horrific fate every day, not being able to liberate themselves from the Sisyphus’s curse . Well, what can I tell you, I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones alive because I try. I try every day to make my life better to take it out of the ordinary as much as I can so I can enjoy every single bit of it at it’s fullest. Even now, when I’m writing about my life I think about my next step, my next thought, the next event and how will that change the course of my life. This story is about taking chances, stepping up to the challenge and bonding with someone completely unknown. This is about finding friends in unexpected places and getting to know them better even if you have absolutely no guarantees that it will last.
It was a chilly morning in the big city and I, as always, was heading to school. As soon as I close the door behind me I realize that I had run out of bus tickets and that I should stop and buy some. When I got there I saw a young lady in front of me who was trying to communicate with the cashier using signs, rather than words. I suddenly realized that she was a tourist from abroad and she was trying to get to the city airport. I have to admit that, at first, I hesitated a little bit because I wasn’t completely confident in my foreign language skills, because I am a regular English speaker, but my French, to be honest, isn’t that good so I could have a conversation in it. Luckily, I soon found out that the young lady was able to speak in English, too. I offered myself to help with the translation. I got her the ticket she needed but I also realized that she had absolutely no idea what bus to take and how far was she supposed to go until she had reached her destination. At that moment I realized that this is what makes our lives better, getting out of the ordinary. So, I told her that she doesn’t need to be worried because I will go with her and make sure she got to the airport safely and in time. Soon, the right bus came in and we got in it. We found our places and started talking, and my, we talked. I found out that her name is Danielle and she came all the way from Switzerland to spend the Easter break with a classmate who originated from this country. She also told me that she is currently having her Masters Degree in Foreign Relations (that was the moment I realized where she knew all those languages from). She was a current speaker of English, French, Italian and also Arabic. I have to admit, I considered her amazing since the first words that came out of her mouth. She was pretty, well-read and she was friendly, too. And then, we started talking…About our lives, hobbies, books, sports…And the more we talked, the more I realized that I actually like her, for her long brown hair, her deep green eyes and her strawberry-scented fragrance. That was the moment when I started asking myself if this could be more that a one-day-thing, if she could remember me when she’s gone and if I could think of this as just a common friendship. We talked all the way to the airport, about all kinds of things, things that we both liked and soon, we would come to realize that we are pretty much alike. We both loved rock music, but also knew to enjoy the majesty of classical music. We were in love with the art of photography and cinematography but also, big fan of sports like tennis, basketball and football, but also snooker, cycling and ice-skating. And then, I believe it was the moment when she felt it, too. She was talking to me about all kinds of things, but I could see it in her candle-lit eyes that, by the second, she was feeling a lot more comfortable around me and that she wouldn’t want to leave, unless she really had to. Sadly, as I said earlier, she had to fly home in that same day. When we finally arrived at the airport she found out that there is a late flight, around 8:00 p.m., which wasn’t completely booked and she could get a ticket to go home. So, in that very moment, she decided that she wanted to stay just a little bit more, to just spend time with me, because now she could sense my feelings, too. And my feelings were not telling any lie, I was deeply in love with her and she felt the same way.
We decided to go back to town to go see a movie or a play, something that we could both enjoy. We first stopped by my place so I can get my car and then we went to a big movie theater and got two tickets to Butterfly Effect, and it was amazing. It was that psychedelic type drama that we loved and which leaves you jaw-dropped and makes you reanalyze your life. After that, we went to have a drink and…talk some more. This time, I chose a more intimate place, somewhere in an underground bar where there the soft rock in the background just whispers to you, instead of crushing your eardrums. She seemed to really enjoy the glowing candles the rose scent in the air and the quiet atmosphere inside the bar. This time we decided to talk a lot more about personal issues, about feelings and what is going on, psychologically and sentimentally, in our lives. I went first and told her how, lately, my love life has been a total disaster, how I was losing confidence from being rejected too many times and how I was on the point of giving up to my sentimental side so I could move on with my life, because I was only 20 and I had to continue this inner battle until I would have reached the end of my days. I also told her how, a year before, my high school left me for another man and how, after four long years of relationship, I realized that there can be only one moment that can change the fate of the relationship, and turn your life upside down. She expressed her deepest apologies for what happened and I told her she had done nothing wrong and that she shouldn’t apologize for something that she didn’t do. Then, it was her turn to tell the story of her love life. I found out that she was quite in the same spot as I was, only she was single for two years. Two years in which she tried her best to focus on school, family and friends, the things that really matter in life. I was sorry that she had to go through that and expressed my doubts about the intelligence of the man who would let such a beautiful, intelligent woman to get away. We kept talking and felt that, with every second and every word, we got closer and closer to each other.
Hours had passed and we both felt like this is the right thing to do, just get to know a complete stranger, who happened to be very exciting. At some point I even considered going even further with this whole thing, but I was afraid I was going to set foot out of boundaries and lose an amazing connection, so I hesitated. But she, as things were about to tell me later, she wouldn’t think twice of getting what she wanted. It was just one moment that made the difference, just one moment that would define the whole day and both of us, as well. And this how, those few seconds changed the entire course of events: I leaned forward to get my cup of tea and, as I tried to grab it, she takes in hand into hers and looks into my eyes…I must admit, I was a bit frightened for what was about to happen, but getting back to the story…she fixed me with her big green eyes and told me: “Daniel, I like you” and softly, she put her hands behind my neck and leaned towards to kiss me…this the moment I’ve been waiting this whole time, this is the moment I’ve been talking all along, the one that makes not only your day, but your life seem better, for that moment is priceless and should not be forgotten…So I leaned towards her, too and we kissed…And, my God, it was amazing…The soft touch of her cherry-flavored lips, her tongue and mine gently touching one another in this perfect moment which I wished had never stopped…Those seconds seemed to go on forever as we expressed our deepest feelings and everything seemed so perfect I wish she and I had never let go…But, as every perfect moment in life, it was just for a few seconds and then it stopped. I could notice her candle-lit eyes, her soft mouth, the blush in her cheeks, the dark hair flowing on her shoulders…In my eyes and in the following moments, she was the best thing that could ever happen to me…But the minutes of sublime love, because that was just what happened, had passed and soon, reality was about to take it’s rightful place in out lives. We realized the she was behind her schedule and that she needed to get to the airport as soon as possible. I went with her to just get the chance to say a proper “Good-bye”. So, we finally arrived at the airport, it was 7:30 p.m. and she still got time to catch her flight. It was, perhaps, the second most saddest thing that had ever happened to me, because I realized that I would never get the chance to see her again and that moments will be forever lost…And the worst part of it was that neither me or her could do anything about it…She gave me a big hug, kissed me again, but the magic of the moment had passed…She started walking towards the gates and turned back for one last time and I could see her eyes flushed with tears…I have to say, that was the moment that just ripped my heart out, because never before had I felt such disappointment, such sorrow for the perfect girl and the perfect future life had slipped through my fingertips…I know I will never forget her, because she, in her unknown way, gave me back my confidence in feelings…And when I could finally see the gates closing behind her, I turned around and got home…
And as I was getting home, I open my e-mail on my Iphone and find out she had sent me a short mail which she had written the following: “I truly love you and I will anything that stands within my powers to have you by my side for the rest of my life”…In that moment, I burst into tears and I cried…I pulled my car over to the side of the road, got out of it and, it was raining, I point my eyes straight to the skies and cry myself out…It was all so painful, those minutes can’t be described or compared to anything…Feeling helpless, I could not see any silver lining at that point of my life...I was just standing out in the rain and hoped that it will be all washed away,but it didn't...Those moments were some of the few moments in life when you can literally feel the excruciating pain building up inside of you and smashing your feelings in unreachable little bits that you will never manage to put together again...I tried, I tried so hard to pull myself up, but I just couldn't...As the tears were flowing down my face, I realized sorrow and loneliness are the worst things you can go through, but having to deal with both, at the same time...My opinion is that nobody should ever have to get through that...Having to watch possibly your last chance to happiness slipping through your fingertips, and getting flooded by all those "demotions"...And then, I figured that this is what my life was going to be until I will see her again, and more suffering was brought upon me...
…And that was it…Love at first sight...Gave me the most beautiful moments in my life and then, torn my heart apart…